I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
