this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
