I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
