I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
