Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
