remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize