Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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