The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
