drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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