sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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