Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

look no pants

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"

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(630): View more from Illinois

there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?

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(274): View more from Wisconsin

Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.

(910): View more from North Carolina

My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I didn't notice because vodka

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(905): View more from Ontario

If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.

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