I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
