we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
