Don't you send me to vm
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
