This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize