Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
