if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize