I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
