I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We had to coat check the pizza.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
