I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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