she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
