Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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