So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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