No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
How external is "for external use only"?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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