the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
