You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
