I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
