4 words: hood of his car
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
