butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think i peed on brittanys purse
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
