I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
