Have you finally orgasmed yet?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
