Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
