I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
