There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
whose parrot is this?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
