i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
