one two three fourrrrnication!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Are we still banned from the library?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
