who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize