like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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