Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Randomize
