glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
