There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
