My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
