whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
