He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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