i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Found the puke drawer
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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