Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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