Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
