I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I forget how to act sober
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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