I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
