I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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