Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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