you guys were way drunker than both of me
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
