Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
