I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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