Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
