Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
