if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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