he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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