Soap is not a condiment
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
