grandma shit on top of the toilet
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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