the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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