Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
