as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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