She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
