Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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