me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
