Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You work out of a Hotel?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize