Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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