Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
