she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
sarcasm needs its own font
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
