Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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