Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
