Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
