I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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