Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
