i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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