it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
