WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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